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Mentoring During the Pandemic: Making Inter-Personal Connections in a Time of Social Distancing

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In the early days of this current Coronavirus situation, the World Health Organization suggested a plan to help thwart the spread of what became a world-wide health crisis, the contagious proliferation of COVID-19. Their plan was to limit person-to-person contamination by what is known as social distancing,  or “to slow down the spread of infectious diseases and avoid overburdening healthcare systems, particularly during a pandemic… by closing schools and workplaces, isolation, quarantine, restricting movement of people and the cancellation of mass gatherings” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_distancing).

Of course, the practice of social distancing is really nothing new. The Bible, and especially the Old Testament (Leviticus 13 – 14, and other places), teaches about the terrifying disease of “leprosy” – where infected people were placed in literal isolation away from the general population of society.

It’s important to remember that the current instruction to segregate from other people is not accurately “social” distancing in today’s technological world. It’s probably more like “physical” distancing. We are being told to stay at least 6’ away from other individuals, not to gather in large or even small groups; and in some areas, we have been instructed to “shelter in place”, to stay in our homes, and not go out at all. 

But we still can make connections with other people. Ours is not really a matter of total social isolation. We can communicate – and that provides the opportunity to minister to other believers and to share the Gospel with people who do not know Christ. It’s probably just a matter of intentionality, effort, and creativity.

Ministry leaders have had to answer a key question about what is becoming the new normal for believers, churches, and other ministries during the current practice of staying away from other people.

How can we do outreach and ministry in a culture of social distancing?

Of course, we can champion the amazing ways some churches are utilizing technology to accomplish their mission right now. Watching the ingenuity of innovative ministry leaders to apply Google, Facebook, Zoom, Go-To-Meeting, Instagram, and other media platforms to communicate God’s Word, to minister to others, and to reach out to our communities is absolutely incredible.

But we must not forget that “low tech” ways exist to reach out and encourage others too. We must keep in mind that there are practical ways to make personal connections with the people we want to mentor even during times of social distancing.

Here are some basic principles of mentoring during a pandemic that may be worth considering:

  • Mentoring relationships may mean more during times of crisis and difficulty.

There’s something quite special when a mentor reaches out during a difficult time. It means they are thinking about you – that they are concerned and that they care about what you are going through. Mentors should do whatever they can right now to connect in any way possible with those they are mentoring.

  • Mentoring is not necessarily a commitment of a great deal of time.

I don’t believe that effective mentoring necessarily requires a commitment of “extra” time. It is basically, doing what you do, just doing that with someone younger than you, or with someone who needs a mentor. As everyone is saying, these are weird days right now – and a Godly mentor can have an incredible impact by even taking small action steps to keep in touch with others.

  • Mentoring relationships require taking the initiative to connect.

Any healthy relationship requires effort. Mentors are the ones who should take the initiative to make intentional connections. As I mentioned above, this does not necessarily require a commitment of a great deal of time, and it certainly does not require technological expertise. But it does demand a certain degree of purpose.

  • Mentoring can use “low tech” instead of “high tech” methods.

I gladly applaud the efforts of so many church leaders who are demonstrating their knowledge and creativity during these days of the pandemic. I am not very talented with technology, but I’m thankful for how today’s communicators are utilizing technology to make a global difference for Christ in these days of social distancing. But friends, let me emphasize to you that mentoring does not require a degree in computer science from MIT. Nor does it mean that you have to learn how to use Zoom or even Facebook Live. In fact, it has been my experience that “low tech” methods are often seen as more valid and more genuine. We can always get some envelopes and some stamps, or make a quick phone call to keep in touch with the people we are mentoring.

  • Mentoring is probably more effective with “high touch” methods.

There are so many simple things we can do to make personal, yet intentional connections with those we are mentoring. I am not trying to “blow my own horn” here, but just this past week I made several personal phone calls, wrote and mailed a couple of dozen of “praying for you” notes, mailed a bunch of small care packages, and sent some McDonald’s gift cards to kids from our church.

Readers, we are not living in isolation. We have ways to make connections with others. But, it’s important to remember that key principle from Proverbs 18:24, “The one who has friends, must show themselves to be friendly.” Let’s all take the initiative to make connections with others – especially those we are mentoring. Blessings to you.

5 Considerations for Ministry & Outreach to Kids from Broken & Dysfunctional Households During the Coronavirus Pandemic

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I’ve seen so many posts on various social media outlets recently that the Coronavirus pandemic gives Christian parents the opportunity to truly disciple their own kids. Several posts list ways church youth workers are partnering with parents for the spiritual benefit of the kids. In some cases, those situations may indeed be true. However, since there is a growing number of broken and dysfunctional households in this country, the opposite may be happening instead.

Putting kids in overwhelmingly negative home situations for extended amounts of time during this Covid-19 time period may actually accomplish adverse and undesirable results. Almost every church youth worker I have spoken to personally in the last several months has agreed that they have an increasing number of children and teenagers in their churches from non-traditional households.

If your church is reaching out to unchurched and unsaved kids in your community, you undoubtedly have young people in this same situation. I hate to say this, but it may not be always a good thing for them to spend extra time at home.

Just this week a friend of mine who is a police officer near a large city told me that one of his biggest concerns during this pandemic is the potential increase of domestic frustrations and violence. Since most kids are out of school for prolonged time periods with no return in sight, there may indeed be young people that are a part of our ministries from negative and maybe harmful home environments.

Youth workers and other church leaders should think this through immediately. How can we reach out to the kids in our communities who may need the most help, and how can we minister to the kids in our church who are from those non-traditional, broken, and dysfunctional households? (For more information to ministering and reaching out to dysfunctional households see: https://blog.youthspecialties.com/5-big-ideas-for-ministry-to-increasingly-dysfunctional-households/.)

  • Strategize with the other ministry leaders from your church to determine what resources you can offer during this crisis.

It is obviously true that your church probably can’t do everything that other churches may be trying to do right now. Your church needs to determine what specific things you can do well, and then create a way to implement those specific ideas. It’s really important for you to get the leadership team from your church on the same page.

Your expertise may be not high-tech where you can provide high quality video productions every day, but you may be able to use Facebook Live and your iPhone to provide the live streaming of your church’s Sunday morning service. Your church probably will not have the resources or personnel to do everything well, so it’s important to select and then execute the ministry strategies that you can do well during these difficult days.

It is very important for all churches to utilize both high-tech and low-tech ways to communicate with their people and with their communities during this pandemic. The hurting and struggling households in your church’s general area need to know that your church is concerned about them and that you have a specific plan in place to reach out to them. Churches must figure out what they can do to minister and reach out – and then launch a plan to implement those specific things.

  • Develop a plan to effectively communicate what resources your church can offer.

Once you have worked with your leadership team to identify what resources you have to offer, you’ll need to develop a specific plan of how to effectively communicate what you are doing. It really doesn’t do any good for you to offer helps to hurting and dysfunctional households unless you can effectively communicate that those resources are available. Each church will need to figure out how best to communicate your contingency plans and action steps to the people you are trying to reach. If your church has decided to live stream your services, how will people know that you are doing that and where specifically can they locate that feed? For example, I just learned the other day of a church that prepared “care packages” for residents of a nursing home in their area only to find out that the facility would not allow outside groups to distribute anything to their patients.

It might be worth it to invest in new signage, or to pay for a community-wide mailing, or to insert an ad in the local paper or on a local radio station to communicate what specific endeavors your church is doing during this crisis. Current demographic trends indicate that your area probably has a large and growing number of hurting and non-traditional households. It will be crucial for your church to communicate what you are trying to do.

  • Find ways that you can be a spiritual encouragement and help to those who need it.

You have probably seen a wealth of practical ideas that have been posted on social media recently touting projects churches are undertaking during the Cororavirus situation. That’s great – and church leaders, maybe especially youth workers, are to be commended for putting their creativity to work. But, let me emphasize one other area of caution here. Don’t forget that the grand mission of the church is to fulfill the Great Commission (see Matthew 28:19-20) and to equip the saints to do “the work of ministry” (see Ephesians 4:11-16). In other words, to borrow a phrase I’d heard often in recent days, “the church must be the church.”

Churches must look for ways to continue accomplishing the purposes of the church, like fellowship, worship, giving, preaching and teaching of Scripture, serving, and outreach. Just because our churches can’t gather on Sunday mornings doesn’t mean that we should cease to fulfill our God-given mission. Churches will need to think through creative and effective ways to share Christ’s love with a needy and hurting world.

  • Recruit and utilize ways to involve other people from your church in ministry and outreach endeavors.

It’s really important to remember that none of us are superheroes with superpowers. It is imperative that we involve others in whatever our churches decide to do. Overloading our pastors, youth pastors, or our team of other volunteer youth workers right now is probably a long-lasting mistake. Don’t forget that their lives are probably in chaos now too. On the other hand, some of your church people may have extra time on their hands and they may be willing to get involved. Of course, it will be very, very important for you to do all you can to keep your volunteers safe and heathy. Our authorities have instituted “social distancing” for a reason and that is to protect people from spreading and catching this virus.

Our pastors may not be tech experts and they may not have the ability to serve as activity directors, or idea generators for parents with kids who are out of school. That’s why it is so important for your church to institute a plan to creatively involve volunteers to help with the variety of projects you want to implement.

The key here is to realize that each local church has a multitude of resources available to help non-traditional and dysfunctional households in the community in addition to the pastoral staff. This can include Godly older people to serve as mentors, and a team of other trained professional who could provide counseling or that could provide tangible physical assistance. This also might include the production of quality helps and resources to distribute to hurting community members.  

  • Remember to identify creative methods of outreach instead of just emphasizing ways to communicate with those who already attend your church.

I’m sure that you have noticed that so many of the recent social media posts have presented ways for churches and youth groups to communicate to people who are already a part of their ministries, and obviously that is important. But we cannot fail to take this opportunity to reach out to our neighbors and communities which contain a host of struggling households during these difficult days of anxiety and fear. Some churches are helping local school distribute homework and meals, others are taking small care packages to seniors, some are opening their buildings for small prayer meetings, and others are offering family and personal counseling sessions. I just heard of one church that is offering “drive in” movies and music in the church parking lot. There are many ideas out there. The key is to prayerfully consider what your church can do to reach out to the needy and hurting people in your community.

Use What You Have! Ministry in the Days of Coronavirus

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Have you ever read about Shamgar in the Bible?

He was one of the deliverers of Israel, and although only one verse in the Bible is given to his major accomplishment, his story is told to us in Judges 3:31, “Shamgar the son of Anath, who killed six hundred men of the Philistines with an ox goad; and he also delivered Israel.”

We’ll get back to that victory a little bit later. But there is one other passage in the Bible that gives us some more background information about him. Later on, the book of Judges cites “the Song of Deborah”. In one stanza of that song there is also a brief reference to Shamgar. Notice Judges 5:6-7, “In the days of Shamgar, son of Anath, in the days of Jael, the highways were deserted, and the travelers walked along the byways.  Village life ceased, it ceased in Israel…”

Certainly, there are some parallels in that narrative to life today. Highways were empty, travelers had to sneak around, and their sense of community life “ceased”. In this time in the history of the nation of Israel the people were hiding due to what one commentator called “raiders” or thieves.

The nation needed a deliverer – and God raised up Shamgar. His name was probably Egyptian in origin and the text tells us that he was “the son of Anath”, which meant that he was perhaps from that lineage and may have been somewhat of a “mercenary” who changed sides to help protect the children of Israel.

This is where the story of Shamgar gets interesting. His weapon of choice in this incredible victory was an “ox goad”. Shamgar used what he had in his hand. The ox goad was a familiar farm implement, which means he was probably employed as a farmhand, working for someone else at the time. This tool was usually a long, pointed stick with two basic purposes. One was to “goad” or prod the oxen into moving through the plowing fields and the other was to sometimes clean the plows from the clumps of dirt and perhaps manure that tended to build up around the blade when plowing.

Shamgar had an ox goad and he used what he had in his hands for God, and God used him to accomplish something very special.

We are living in interesting times. Almost everyone I talk to uses the word “weird” to describe our world’s reaction to the current Coronavirus crisis. Churches have canceled their services, schools are closed, and grocery stores are running out of basic supplies. Church leaders and youth workers are certainly wondering what to do now. What do the times demand of us?

My advice is to do what Shamgar did. Use what you have!

Today we have computers, cell phones, and other means of technology. We have some tools we can use. We have the means to communicate with others – and we can do things with individuals, and we can meet in small groups. We can still minister, and we can still reach out. So, we should utilize what we have to accomplish what God has called us to do.

We don’t need to hunker down. We don’t need to retreat into our homes in fear. Ministry now will demand some creativity, some initiative, and some new looks. But it can still be done.

I’m sure that no one expected Shamgar to win with his ox goad, but he accomplished something great for God.

Like the ending of the Song of Deborah says in Judges 5:31b, “…let those who love Him be like the sun when it comes out in full strength.”

Mel’s Manifesto: The Day I Experienced “Holy Ground” – and Why I Do What I Do

in Going On For God/inter-generational ministry/youth ministry by

It was a summer day following my sophomore year in college, and I was sitting up in my hospital bed after waking up from surgery from an athletic injury. I admit that I was feeling sorry for myself that day. I was in a “poor Mel” and “my life is terrible” mood. My right arm was bandaged to my chest because of my shoulder surgery and my left hand was also bandaged due to the intravenous fluids’ hookup after the surgery.

On the hospital tray in front of me was a plastic cup filled with ice chips – and my open Bible. It’s a long story that I won’t go in to here, but my Bible was turned to Hebrews 12, and here’s what I read, “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens…”

That day, sitting alone in a hospital room, God used His Word to literally change the complete direction of my life. I had been living completely for myself, only prioritizing my own goals and plans. Even though I had put my faith in Christ as a child, my life up until that moment was quite focused on me and what I wanted out of life.

God spoke to me that day! No, not in an audible voice – but, His Words were loud and clear. God loved me enough to have something better in store for me than a life for myself. I was discouraged because I didn’t see God’s hand in this. That day it all changed. God loved me enough to work in my life. This surgery was not what I wanted, but it became the catalyst for real change in where I was headed.

I began to sob, not because I was “discouraged” by my life’s circumstances, but because I saw that God loved me enough to “chasten” me and that He had something better for me. That day I confessed my selfishness and admitted to Him that I had been wasting my life. That hospital room became “holy ground” for me as I dedicated my life to Christ and committed myself to follow His will.

Friends, I get it that my life’s story is no big deal when it is compared to the stories of many others, but it is what happened, and this was what God used to help me commit my life to Him and to do His will. My decision that day was to quit wasting my life and to use the rest of my life to make a difference for eternity instead of living focused on myself. And, I’ve tried to do that ever since.

It’s Thanksgiving season, and I can’t begin to express my thankfulness for my wife and family – and for the many years of satisfying and meaningful ministry that He has given us. Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs along the way. Everyone does. But we’ve lived our life trying to see God’s hand in what He wants us to be and to do.

As we’ve sought to do God’s will, we realized that God had wanted to use me to impact the next generation – and to do whatever I could do to utilize my gifts and abilities for that purpose. That’s why I’ve spent the last 45 years of my life actively involved in various aspects of ministry to students – and that’s why I began to focus my writing and speaking ministry to help motivate and encourage as many young people as possible in their walk with God. My ministry has been one of challenging them from the Scriptures not to waste their lives, but instead trying to help them to commit to doing the will of God.

In my personal bio on Twitter, I wrote that I am an “observer of cultural trends”. I have a compelling desire to be someone that makes the biggest difference that I can for eternity. I can’t do everything, but I want to do what I can to impact lives of the next generation. So, I became a youth pastor, a college instructor and administrator, a leader of a youth ministry organization, and a writer and speaker to do just that. My motive has been to observe where cultural influences are headed and to use my God-given gifts to do whatever I can to impact the lives of young people through those trends for eternity.

That is exactly why I’ve written my books, Inter-Generational Youth Ministry and Going On For God. I noticed cultural trends and wanted to do what I could to help people with those things. I wrote books on mentoring and discipleship because I wanted to help others also impact the next generation; and my kids and I put together a booklet on helping young people make Biblical decisions for the same reason.

That summer day in the hospital room was indeed a “holy ground” experience for me. Every now and then I drive by that hospital and tear up a little bit again because God used that place to change everything about Mel Walker’s life. I know this story is no big deal, but now you know why I do what I do. Thanks for reading.

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