Safeguards – Mel Walker's Blog

NOW WHAT? Practical Thoughts for Aging Youth Workers

in Going On For God/inter-generational ministry/Mentoring/Older adults/Parents/youth ministry by Mel Walker

I am a 66-year-old-youth pastor. My hair and beard have been gray for several decades now – and I can’t play the guitar. I don’t have a TikTok account and I’ve never played Fortnite. I’m too old to play tackle football with kids (or with anyone for that matter), and I hate staying up all night. I am enrolled in Medicare and I have my AARP membership card.

However, I can say emphatically that I love kids – and can’t see myself doing anything else except working with emerging generations in a local church setting – for absolutely as long as I can.

I know that I am way too old to play tackle football, but we should never get too old to minister to kids.

Believe me, I get it. My games in youth group can be lame, and my illustrations are sometimes old. I’m not the guy to lead worship for today’s teenagers, and I am certainly not the person to lead all-nighters.

But, since most of the kids in our church are from dysfunctional, hurting, and broken households, they look at me almost as a grandpa. My wife and I minister to kids who may not have positive relationships with their parents, but they love their grandparents and respect them. Their grandparents are the ones who provide for them, who take care of them, and who encourage them.

So, maybe working with today’s younger generations (like Gen Z and Generation Alpha) makes sense for older youth workers. Maybe it’s time for older youth workers to refocus our ministries, renew our sense of calling, and allow kids (middle schoolers, high schoolers, and even young adults) to reinvigorate our ministries with today’s young people.

Older youth workers can have amazingly effective ministries. Here are some things to think through:

Reaffirm your call as you get older.

Has God called you to work with youth? If so, keep on doing it no matter how old you are. I don’t think the call of God is age related.

Stay relevant. Do your research. Stay connected.

How can you stay up on today’s students? Maybe older people are inherently out-of-touch, and we’ll have to work harder to learn all we can about today’s youth and youth culture. The best way to learn about kids, by the way, is to spend time with kids!

Concentrate on your strengths. You’re not good at everything. Use what God is blessing.

Older youth workers probably are not the best game leaders, and most likely shouldn’t be worship leaders at this stage of life. But they are really good at building inter-personal relationships and they are probably ideal storytellers of what God has done over the years in their lives. And, they probably know the Scriptures and can successfully teach God’s Word to others.

Recruit others to help you (and find people to do what is now hard for you to do). Build a team around you.

Yeah, since we’re not all good at everything – why not make a conscious effort to recruit other Godly adults in your church to work alongside of you. Teams built with diversity are probably best suited to connect with the variety of kids in your group.

Make much of relationships… with individual kids, with parents, and with others in the church.

Older youth workers should be really good at developing healthy and positive relationships with individual kids. (Of course, churches will need to develop and enforce child protection policies for all adult workers!) Older youth workers also have the credibility to work with parents of teens too. Plus, they are likely to have the respect of other people in the church as well.

Friends, I can’t tell you how thankful I am to still have the opportunity to work kids and their families at this stage of my life. Our youth group doesn’t play crazy games and we don’t entertain kids with the energetic music or creative videos that I have produced, but we love the Lord and we love kids – and we want to see our students grow up to go on for God.

WAYS OLDER ADULTS CAN MINISTER TO YOUNG PEOPLE IN YOUR CHURCH

in Going On For God/Mentoring/Older adults/youth ministry by Mel Walker

“Now also when I am old and gray-headed, O God, do not forsake me, Until I declare Your strength to this generation, Your power to everyone who is to come.” Psalm 71:18

According to the US Government’s Health & Human Services Department we live in a country with a dramatically increasing population of older people. At this moment, almost 50 million people in the United States are 65 years of age or older – and that number is expected to grow significantly over the next several years. This demographic trend will definitely impact church ministries and programming as we consider how to reach and serve this growing cohort.

Even though most of us have been raised believing there is a considerable “Generation Gap”, I am absolutely convinced that the different generations in the church need each other and that both sides of the generational divide actually want the same things in the church. Younger people and older people alike desire to serve and worship God in a local church environment that honors God, that teaches and preaches the life-changing Word of God, and that effectively reaches out to the unsaved and un-churched members of the surrounding community with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

The Bible teaches the unity of the Body of Christ (see Ephesians 4:11-16) and that older people can and should mentor and encourage young people in the church (see Titus 2:1-10). Today’s young people need Godly and loving encouragement from the older people in the church – and actually current research points out that this generation of young people is very, very receptive to building close relationships with older people. (See https://www.barna.com/research/multigenerational-friendships/?mc_cid=5df38c9891&mc_eid=bfbee3c1fa.)

If you, like me, are one of the “older” generations in your church, please join me in doing all we can to encourage emerging generations to grow up and go on for God. Here are 5 simple things older adults can do to minister to younger people in church:

Pray for them

I highly encourage senior citizens to pray for their church’s younger generations – specifically, by name! It’s probably easy to obtain a list of their names from your church’s youth workers. Take each one to the Lord individually. God will begin to put a burden on your heart for them. You will be amazed at how external things fade away as you pray specifically for them and their spiritual growth. Once you have developed the habit of praying intentionally and individually FOR young people – then take the opportunity to pray WITH them. You will be amazed at how receptive today’s young people are for a time of special prayer with older people.

Encourage them.

It’s also important for the older, established people in the church to actively and purposely encourage them in their walk with God. Take the Biblical examples of Barnabas and Onesiphorus to heart. They were exceptional encouragers. Today’s young people hear so much criticism and negativity. Let’s change that trend in the church. Imagine the positive influence you could have on your church’s teenagers and college age young adults just by being a verbal encouragement to them. Ephesians 4:29 puts it this way, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Older people should take the initiative. Just say an encouraging word or two to young people in the church foyer or hallway. Believe me, it will be greatly appreciated.

Tell your story

Today’s youth love stories. Most of the recent blockbuster movies have been epic tales told as stories. God uses human interest, real-life accounts of real people to touch the hearts of others. I think this is the idea behind the truth in Psalm 78:1-8. Older generations were instructed to tell the next generation “the praises of the Lord. And His strength and His wonderful works that He has done….” So that, “They may set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments.” This generation loves “God stories”. Seniors should take every opportunity they can to share what God has done and is doing in and through their lives. Practical ideas abound. Invite young people over to your home and take the opportunity to share your testimony with them. Take a few young people out for coffee. Today’s young people love to connect with older people. I strongly recommend that churches use this as a ministry advantage. This simple action step will help break down the Generation Gap.

Minister alongside them.

It should be the standard norm in your church for each ministry position (ushers, Sunday School teachers, VBS leaders, work days, etc.) to include a mentoring relationship with a younger person. Our churches must be intentional about becoming inter-generational. So, if you have any kind of ministry position at all in your church, why not invite a younger person to serve alongside of you? Even if you are not a ministry leader you can still minister with teens by asking them to help you bake cookies to encourage someone in the church, or to go with you to visit a shut-in. The key is to demonstrate your desire to serve the Lord to emerging generations.

Mentor them.

I believe that every mature Christian in the church should have growing mentoring relationships with younger people. This is the Biblical pattern (see 1 Thessalonians 2:8 and Titus 2) and it should be replicated throughout our churches today. Over 90% of today’s young people have indicated that they would appreciate an older mentor. Yet, most adults feel like they don’t have time to so something like this. Friends, I have said for years that true mentoring is not necessarily a commitment of extra time. It is doing what you already do, just doing it with someone younger. The best mentoring takes place at church by the way. Begin this Sunday by building intentional, growing relationships with younger people.

It makes sense for older, spiritually mature people to be intentional about personally ministering to younger people in the church. Let’s bridge that Generation Gap!

Mentoring Safeguards

in Cautions/Going On For God/Mentoring/Safeguards by Mel Walker

The reports of influential religious leaders who have been accused and even convicted of being sexual predators are making the news almost every day. These nauseating accounts seem to be more prevalent, and perhaps, even more heinous than ever before. Of course, these perpetrators are not just priests from faraway places; nor are they just clergy members, coaches, or teachers from other denominations that have nothing to do with us personally. The reports are too numerous to explain away or ignore. Kids are at risk today and we must build policies and procedures of protection into our ministries.

It’s true that evil is out there. Sin is rampant – and sinful adults with wicked motives abound. But, readers, please hear me. God is still on the throne and we must trust Him to keep our kids safe from the evils of sinfully corrupt predators and abusers. God is in control – and yet, we must follow His Word in developing protections within the church to keep our kids (our own children, if we are parents; and our church kids, if we are church leaders or workers) safe. Christian parents and church leaders alike must do everything possible to put safeguards in place that will protect our kids!

I understand that this brief blog post can never be the final or definitive word on developing child protection policies within the fabric of our church’s ministries. But, since I recently wrote an article and published a book about mentoring (Godly adults taking the initiative to develop growing, healthy relationships with younger people), I felt it was important to write a follow up post on some of the practical things we can do to develop and implement precautions and protections into our ministries.

Here are 5 possible safeguards to think through for your family and for your church:

Adult mentors should always minister with the blessing of the young person’s parents and family.

It is admirable, wise, and even Biblical for Godly adults to want to build personal relationships with kids. The histories of children’s ministry and youth ministry are lined with caring adults who cared enough to develop connections with the younger generations. However, these relationships should always be developed with the permission and understanding of the young person’s parents or guardians. It should always be a danger sign for an adult mentor to seek to build a relationship with a minor without the consent of their parents.

I have noticed a scenario recently that may deserve some attention in our ministries. Often it is true that the kids from the most dysfunctional families are the ones maybe the most at risk. Children and teenagers who do not have close relationships with their own parents may be especially susceptible to the impure motives and advances of predatory, evil adults.

Friends, I believe that the best adult mentors are caring, Godly adults who work in harmony with the young person’s parents and family members to reinforce how God is already working. Of course, God can and will use other Godly adults to impact kids from weak or dysfunctional families. However, it is imperative for church leaders to see this as a likely issue or concern.

2. Adult mentors should always minister under the authority, accountability, and communication of a local church

The local church itself creates several layers of safety that should be built intentionally into a mentoring ministry. Mentoring must never be adults just hanging out with kids. That would be incredibly dangerous. The structure, programs, authority, and accountability that exist within a local church must be honored and enforced. This includes the role of the pastor, elders, deacons, or other positions of leadership. This also includes the church’s membership procedure; and its policies for how people are recruited, screened, and trained for any type of service within the church. In other words, mentoring should be a church-based program that operates within clear lines of communication throughout the entire church.

I’ll be as blunt and honest here as I can. Be very careful of adult volunteers – those people who seem too eager to jump in (especially in a ministry with minors) without going through your church’s established practices for involving people in positions of ministry. Plus, there is a real level of safety and accountability that exists in any local church. Faithful church members who have demonstrated Godliness, authenticity, and dependability over the long haul are probably the best mentors.

3. Adult mentors should always minister within the structure and procedures of the church’s existing child protection policy – and should never go around it.

I am definitely not the authority on this subject, but I highly recommend that every church find experts – people who know the law, and who can implement and enforce “best practices” of an effective child protection policy. This might include lawyers, police officers, or representatives from your church’s liability insurance company. The important thing is to do it right and develop your policies based upon the laws in your state and with the motive to do everything you can to protect the kids in your church from evil predators. (Plus, it is imperative for your church to put these policies into place as soon as possible!)

By the way, it should always be a danger sign if any adult is not readily willing to submit to your church’s policies, such as background checks.

4. Adult mentors should always connect with students in public places – and should never engage in a practice of private communication with minors.

Mentoring should always be a public ministry. That’s why I always say that the best personal, inter-generational connections are made in the church foyer – in a very public place, that is almost-literately, the hub of church life. I understand the importance of developing confidential relationships, but secrecy and private meetings must be avoided. I believe that it is possible to build strong personal relationships in very public places. In fact, I think it is a wise thing to do. There is real wisdom in the Biblical methodologies of both Jesus and the Apostle Paul. Much of their work with others took place in group settings (sometimes large groups and sometimes small groups), and often their ministry took place in very public places.

Here’s another danger sign: adult mentors should avoid a pattern of private and exclusive methods of communication with minors. In this culture of electronic and digital communication, adults must be careful of on-going, private “conversations” with young people. Please – keep your ministry public.

5. Adult mentors should avoid any suspicion or doubt of their concern for what is best for the younger person.

The Bible’s characterization of the importance of an elder being “above reproach” is imperative. Mentors, likewise, should have nothing that others could accuse them of doing wrong. The genuine motive of a mentor will be quite visible. Godly mentors must want what is best for the young people in their churches – and that is that they want the kids to grow up and go on for God! Good mentors should never do anything that might cause others to question why they would be doing this. Never.

You can order these books at: http://www.GoingOnForGod.com.

Friends, as I mentioned briefly above, I am NOT an expert on this matter. However, I have observed what other churches are doing and I have written about the importance of implementing principles and best practices of child protection policies. This information is included in my recent works, Going On For God and Mentoring the Next Generation.