inter-generational ministry – Mel Walker's Blog

How Can We Help Older People Make their Weekend Involvement in Church Less Frustrating and More Rewarding?

in church and ministry leaders/inter-generational ministry/youth ministry by Mel Walker

I always feel badly when I overhear some of the oldest people in the church complain to others about the style of music, the length of the sermon, or the fashion styles of the younger generations.

I wonder why this once active and vibrant demographic age group feels the need to express their frustration so openly as they get older.

Maybe it’s because church leaders have just accepted and even unconsciously communicated the fact that as people get older, they often become increasingly negative, they have “had their day”, and they need to just get out of the way so that younger leaders can have their turn.

The reality is probably much less dramatic and pronounced than my description. But I do think that many churches have (maybe inadvertently, but perhaps intentionally too), pushed older generations out to the proverbial pasture. Maybe older members feel like they have lost their voice and lost their influence – and so they need to share their concerns with other somewhat likeminded people in personal cynical or pessimistic conversations.

I’ve wondered for years that maybe we could put a stop to this all-too-common scenario by developing and instituting a plan to deliberately and purposefully connect the generations in the church.

(I wrote a book about this idea a few years ago entitled, “Inter-Generational Youth Ministry: Why a Balanced View of Connecting the Generations is Essential for the Church”. You can obtain a copy at: https://www.youthministryquestions.com/book-store/inter-generational-youth-ministry. This book, however, is not really a youth ministry book. Instead, it presents practical and creative ways any church can effectively connect the generations.)

Friends, I cam convinced that church leaders should prepare for the eventuality that people will get older, they may feel as if they are losing their influence, and that we can help them keep, or regain their vital and vibrate ministries in the church by providing ways that they can have a growing voice and influence with younger people.

Here are a few practical ideas to consider:

Encourage your church’s oldest generations to pray specifically and individually for young people.

Take any opportunity you have to visit with your church’s older people to ask them to specifically and intentionally pray for the young people in your church. Do whatever you can to facilitate this action step. Give them a list of names, give them copies of the kids’ school pictures. One church made “baseball-card-size” info cards of every kid in the youth group to help that church’s senior citizens pray specifically for their kids.

Motivate your church’s older people to develop friendly and growing relationships with younger people by utilizing space in the church foyer for simple, friendly greetings and conversations.

Once your church’s older people are praying specifically and individually for young people, ask them to introduce themselves to the young people in the public spaces of your church, most likely in the church foyer or in the church auditorium. Yes, the young people may, at first, think it’s odd for the older people to greet them in this way. But ask the seniors to be persistent. In the long run, most young people would appreciate these simple, yet effective demonstrations of care and encouragement. One youth worker told me recently that their church asks the senior citizens to “show up and be nice” to kids. Honestly, this step goes a long way in connecting the generations.

Ask your church older people to utilize some of their resources to be generous and charitable with young people.

I get it that these action steps may have just turned much harder and more difficult to implement. But I’m really not talking here about finances or other tangible means of charitable giving. In many cases today, older people have the available resources of their time, some of their energy, or their life skills and experiences that they can share with young people. Older people can certainly pray. They can send prayer notes or encouragement cards. They may be able to bake cookies or brownies. They can share their personal testimony with younger people. My Mom invested in young people by showing some of the girls in her church how to make quilts. My Mother-in-Law used her musical skills to teach piano lessons. Really, the ideas are endless.

Schedule simple, yet creative ways to connect the generations for social, fellowship events in your church.

Your church can do this one easily. I know several churches that host enjoyable and beneficial inter-generational functions each year. I visited in one church recently that scheduled simple games nights each year with round tables set up in the church’s family room for table games, simple crafts, and fellowship. The ages were interspersed throughout the tables, and the youth group provided the refreshments, while the older people were encouraged to take the time to engage in personal and encouraging conversations.

Plan opportunities for some of your church’s oldest and most faithful members to share their story of God’s faithfulness with the younger generations in your church.

Today’s younger generations love stories. Plus, your church undoubtedly has older members with lives of faithfulness to the Lord over several decades. Plan opportunities for some of your churches oldest people to meet with the younger people to share their story or testimony of how the Lord has worked in and through their lives. You will be amazed at how these simple times of connection will develop into growing and positive inter-generational relationships in your church.

These ideas are simple, yet they will not happen without church leaders actively getting involved in the process. This doesn’t mean you have to be in charge to institute these ideas, however. You can use whatever influence you have – including your own initiative and your own persuasive abilities to ask some of your church’s older generations to get involved.

You should also actively demonstrate to them that you sincerely care about them, that you want to hear their thoughts and concerns, and that you will do everything you can to encourage your church’s younger generations to show their love and concern for older people.

How can churches help their high school graduating seniors to transition from youth group to “big church”?

in College Age/inter-generational ministry/youth ministry by Mel Walker

This year’s graduation season may look more familiar than what we all experienced last year.

Just a year ago our Spring calendars were strangely empty of high school graduations, open houses, and other end-of-the-year events for high school seniors and their families. The COVID crisis had put the brakes on all those activities.

This year appears to be different. Many high schools have figured out how to hold their proms, how to have graduation ceremonies – and parents are anxious to host open houses for their kids graduating from high school. Once again, celebration season seems to be in full swing.

But the Spring and Summer seasons are not always the best of times for many local church youth workers. This year is no exception.

The Dropout Phenomenon

The reported mass departure of graduating high school seniors from church is all too real for countless youth workers and youth pastors. Sadly, many of the young people they invested years into decide to walk away from church once they graduate from high school. It is no exaggeration to assert that for many youth pastors, the time they spend with high school graduates at their open houses may be the last time they will have any type of meaningful interaction with some of their young people.

The statistical percentage of church dropouts ranges from somewhere near 50% to a high of probably near 75%. Whatever the real number is, it still hurts to have kids who have been active in your youth ministries quit going to church once they graduate from high school.

It is safe to say that the mass exodus from church once kids leave youth group is something that grieves most youth workers. However, instead of wringing our hands in despair or blaming the church’s college age or adult ministries, maybe it is time to develop a specific plan to help senior highers transition out of youth group when they graduate from high school so they can easily adjust into the various adult ministries of the church.

Some Suggested Ingredients of a Transition Plan

If you are interested in developing your own strategy to help your church’s graduating high school students transition from youth group to big church, here are some suggested ideas for youth workers to consider. (For more information on this subject, check out my May 10, 2021 podcast with the same title, https://youthministryquestions.podbean.com/.) Of course, wise youth workers will work with the parents of teenagers in their groups to fully implement these ideas.

Teach your teenagers about doing the will of God.

This part of your plan must start long before your students finish high school. It is important to teach them the importance of following God’s direction for their lives as they mature through childhood and into adolescence. Life decisions do not get any easier as humans get older. Following God’s will for where to go to college or what to do following high school is not the most important decision your kids will ever face. That is part of the reason why it is essential for them to develop the desire to following God’s leading as they grow up. But the choices our kids make about what they do with their lives following high school can indeed be considered life-altering; and therefore, must be made by carefully considering the importance of following God’s direction found in His Word.

Schedule personal meetings each Spring with every graduating senior.

I highly recommend for all pastors and youth pastors to make personal appointments with each graduating senior sometime before they transition out of youth group. Let’s not forget that high school graduation is a very important time in the lives of your students. You could take them out for coffee, or have lunch or dinner together. Do whatever your budget can afford. The important thing is to make it a priority to have a personal conversation with each graduate about what God is leading them to do following high school. You will be amazed at how significant these conversations become to your graduates.

Offer vocational resources to parents and teenagers.

This step is another part of your plan that should begin long before your young people graduate from high school. Providing vocational counseling and supplying resources about select career options could prove to be particularly important for both high school students and their parents. I’ve often wondered why churches often let high school guidance counselors do all of the vocational counseling. The Barna Group has an excellent resource that could be a starting point for this aspect of your transition plan, Christians a Work (see https://www.barna.com/vocation-and-work/.)

Each individual local church has incredible resources to offer in the wide variety of other church members and attendees. For example, perhaps one of your young people is thinking about becoming a nurse. Why not connect them with an older person in the church who is already a nurse? Perhaps there are students in your church’s youth group who are interested in vocational ministry. Why not let them spend some time with your church’s pastor in preparation for their potential life’s goal? The possibilities are very real to build growing inter-generational relationships through similar vocational connections.

Work hard to develop a “5-to-1 ratio” of adult-to-teenager relationships in your church.

My own personal research and experience tells me that high school graduates are much less likely to quit attending church after high school graduation if they have strong relationships with a number of key adults. The transition into the adult ministries of the church is much easier and seamless for these new young adults if they have developed personal connections with some older adults who are committed and intentional about welcoming them into the culture of your church’s adult ministries.

My friend, Dr. Chap Clark has reinforced this idea with his “5-to-1 ratio[1]”. Chap’s much reported statistic encourages church leaders to help each high school student develop growing personal relationships with 5 influential adults in the church – other than the church’s youth workers or their parents. In fact, Chap believes that it will be much more difficult for any high school graduate to stay in church unless they have developed those 5 strong relationships.

Help your teenagers build “sweat equity” in big church.

Another key way to help your church’s high school graduates transition into “big church” is to help them develop “sweat equity” in the church as a whole long before they graduate from high school. It is really important for youth workers to work with parents (if they are present, and actively involved in the church themselves), to help teenagers get actively involved in the church in a variety of specific and practical ways as they mature through the church’s children’s ministries and youth ministry. This could include personal effort (like being involved in church workdays), actively serving and learning to use their spiritual gifts and God-given talents and abilities for the Lord in and through the local church, tithing and giving through the church, and by becoming active in church business.

Plan a “rite-of-passage” event to help your students transition into big church.

This is something I’ve seen several churches utilize with great success. They plan a specific “rite-of-passage” activity for their graduating seniors to do WITH some of the church’s young adults or older adults – with the specific purpose of the event or activity being to celebrate the young person’s gradation, but also to help them transition into the adult ministries of the church through their personal involvement in a specific event or activity. I know of churches that plan wilderness or camping trips, others that host a special dinner or banquet, and others that take their graduating seniors and some of their young adults on a combined missions trip for this expressed purpose.

Give the students positive exposure to your church’s young adult or adult ministries.

It has been my experiences that many churches are weak in helping their people transition from one aspect of their ministries to another. This may be especially true with the transition from youth group into “big church.” One way to break out of this scenario is to give your church’s maturing high school students practical and positive exposure to some of the various adult ministries of the church – like small groups, service opportunities, church business meetings, connections with other pastoral staff members, inter-generational prayer times, and the adult educational or equipping ministries of the church.

Readers, you may want to listen to my May 10, 2021 podcast on this same subject at: https://youthministryquestions.podbean.com/.

[1] Chap Clark’s “5-to-1 ratio” was originally published here: https://decisionmagazine.com/in-spite-of-how-they-act/. Readers are encouraged to do an internet search of what Chap and others are saying about this important statistic.

How Can Leaders Prepare Now for “Generation Alpha”?

in Generation Alpha/inter-generational ministry/youth ministry by Mel Walker

Ten years ago, Apple unveiled the iPad and Instagram was launched. Members of the Millennial generation were emerging into adulthood and the leading edge of Gen Z was entering middle school.

And the kids now called “Generation Alpha” were just coming into this world.

Ten years from now, the Millennials will be facing middle age. Gen Z will be having their own children – and members of Gen. Alpha will be the young adult generation that everyone is talking about. This new generation will begin to impact everything – from culture to the church.

The term, Generation Alpha, was coined by an Australian researcher Mark McCrindle in 2008, who observed that by the time all members of this generation have been born, they will number almost 2 billion people around the globe (see https://mccrindle.com.au/insights/blog/generation-alpha-mark-mccrindle-q-new-york-times/), and will be the first generation to be born entirely in the twenty-first century. They will also be the first generation to experience life in the twenty-second century.

Observations About Generation Alpha

Time will tell, but today’s children are also likely to be the generation most influenced by the current pandemic. Depending upon the actual duration of this time of “social distancing” or isolation from other people, there are habits and life patterns that are apt to develop that may persist with the members of Generation Alpha for decades to come.

Here are some possible consequences of an extended time of social distancing and isolation from a broader community.

The feelings of fear and anxiety may continue to grow.

Today’s young people are more likely than previous generations to struggle with depression and anxiety disorders (see https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2018/stress-gen-z.pdf). Plus, their negative feelings are only likely to grow because of the current days of virtual quarantine. The constant, pervasive nature of negative news relating to the coronavirus is quite likely to become a breeding ground for even more apprehension and worry for today’s children. Coupled with the reaction to the current crisis by parents and other influential adults, this situation is likely to develop a growing sense of foreboding and uneasiness in the lives of the next generation. Of course, this will not be universally true, but the likelihood that the anxiety that comes from the potential of getting sick, or someone they know getting sick; compounded by the negativity in a socially isolated atmosphere will be even greater than it is other older generations. Church leaders, youth workers, and other caring adults would be wise to put positive and hope-filled resources into the hands of parents, other guardians and caregivers, and the children themselves during these days of crisis and pandemic.

Working, studying, and living in seclusion may become more of a norm.

Another long-term effect of social distancing for children is that living without the presence of other children and other influential adults in their lives may become an enduring pattern. There are some children from homes that may be customed to a socially isolated world much like the situation today. For example, some home schoolers may fit into this description. However, it is important to remember that humans are designed by God to live in community with others, and it is especially important for followers of Christ to be actively involved in His work – the church.

One of the potential dangers of a quarantine is that the segregation from others might become “safe”, or even cozy and natural. This generation already has a natural propensity toward technology, which is a key reason why parents and church leaders alike should make it a priority to provide opportunities for some positive and healthy social interaction for kids even if that is via tech – especially if these days of social distancing last for quite some time.

The creative use of interactive technology will expand.

The first wave of Generation Alpha began in 2010, which is the same year when the term “app” was selected as the word of the year. (https://nowthisnews.com/news/move-over-gen-z-generation-alpha-is-here.) It is no wonder that this generation is very comfortable with using all kinds of technology. This time of isolation from a larger community will certainly not be a problem to them. They have grown up with various forms of “smart” technology and are most likely used to a “virtual” world. Since today’s school-aged children are now home for longer periods of time they will be compelled to utilize technology even more and more for their educational requirements and pursuits. The current global crisis will likely push this new generation toward even more creative use of technological tools. Parents, church leaders, and educators alike should expect more and more members of Generation Alpha to become creators, publishers, and entrepreneurs instead of being just consumers of virtual media.

The stress of financial pressure may become more intense.

One of the lasting ramifications of living through the Great Depression (about 1929 to 1939) for the “Silent Generation” of that era was the lack of finances and a scarcity mindset, and the members of the World War II generation experienced several years of shortages due to the needs of the war effort. Economic struggles are already one of the leading pressure points for any generation and this occasion is likely to be no different for Generation Alpha. The wide fluctuation of the Stock Market, plus the rapidly growing unemployment rate has caused a wide range of financial pressures. Customers have already experienced the grocery stores lack of commodities such as toilet paper, disinfectant wipes, hand sanitizer, and medicines. Some are predicting a rapid economic upturn once this crisis is over, but today’s children are likely to remember and experience a lasting impact of monetary stress as a result of COVID-19. Parents and other influential adults, such perhaps as grandparents and other caregivers, will need to be diligent to teach and demonstrate financial discipline during these difficult days.

Long-term social isolation will likely identify a growing number of hurting and non-traditional households.

According to some authors (for example, Corey Seemiller and Meghan Grace in Generation Z: A Century in the Making, published by Routledge, 2019, Chapter 8), many members of today’s younger generations are already living in hurting, dysfunctional, and non-traditional households. This means that the current coronavirus crisis is not going to be a good thing for many children. Both community and church leaders must remember that there are several households out there where it will not be a positive experience for children to have more extended time at home. That means that household stress and pressure are likely grow and have more of a lasting impact on members of Generational Alpha. This is exactly why it will be imperative for conscientious outside influencers to stay in regular communication with both children and other household members. One youth ministry writer also put it this way, “Churches would be wise to bolster their resources for counseling – marriage counseling, family counseling, addition recovery, and a response to abuse. We must pray for healing and grace in homes today and be ready to provide pastoral care and help… hopefully before it’s necessary, but we probably won’t hear about most of the heartbreak until the dust has settled.” (From Facebook post on April 6, 2020.)

In ten short years our culture will be asking members of Generation Z to move out of the way as Alphas come of age. Of course, at this stage in the process, it is uncertain that this moniker will stick. Other voices are already referring to them as “Generation C” or “Generation Covid”.

It is time now for leaders to learn all they can about America’s newest generation. Here are some resources which may help:

https://www.businessinsider.com/new-generation-covid-comes-after-gen-z-gen-c-2020-11

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/generation-alpha-after-gen-z_l_5d420ef4e4b0aca341181574

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Alpha

https://www.aecf.org/blog/what-is-generation-alpha/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/christinecarter/2016/12/21/the-complete-guide-to-generation-alpha-the-children-of-millennials/?sh=784c1c453623

https://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SP.POP.GROW?end=2019&locations=AS&start=1961&view=map

Children IN Church: The Value of Keeping Our Kids in Church Worship Services

in Going On For God/inter-generational ministry/Parents/youth ministry by Mel Walker

My wife and I made the decision to keep our kids with us during our church’s worship services very early on in our ministry.

(For the record, Peggy and I have 3 children – all of whom were born during my first full-time ministry as a youth pastor. It’s also important to note that I am a big fan of peer ministry. I absolutely believe in “kids’ min” and youth ministry, but I also see the incredible value of balancing age-segregated ministries with inter-generational ministries. In fact, I wrote a book about that. See Inter-Generational Youth Ministry: Why a Balanced View of Connecting the Generations is Essential for the Church. I believe that churches need to intentionally balance ministries where younger generations learn at their own levels of understanding and do so in a peer environment. Simply put, kids need other kids.

By the way, now that I am “old and gray-headed” – to quote the Psalmist in Ps. 71:18 – our kids are now all grown, and all three of them serve in full-time vocational ministry. We now have 9 grandchildren – and currently I serve as a youth pastor in a church where our oldest son is the lead pastor. Plus, six of our grandchildren are a part of our church as well. And, due to COVID-19, our church does not offer children’s church at the present time.)

Now back to my point. I believe it is greatly beneficial for parents to keep their kids with them during the church’s worship service.

I understand the issues. Kids can be disruptive (yep, even my kids). My wife often carried this burden on her own because, as a pastor I was actively involved in the programming of our services. Other parents sometimes confronted us about our practice of keeping our kids in the service – and I was sometimes accused of not supporting the church’s children’s ministry because our kids didn’t go to Children’s Church – although they did regularly attend and participate in our church’s age-appropriate Sunday School classes.

The reasons for parents keeping their kids in the church worship services are different today due to our practicing of social distancing. Many churches are not offering child care right now, so parents are left with the choices of keeping their kids with them, taking them to another location in the church building and staying with them there, or not attending church services with your children.

After reading Kirsten Black’s article “Prioritize Church, Even When There’s No Childcare”, (see https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/prioritize-worship-no-childcare/), here are some of my thoughts and ideas on this subject:

We utilized the church nursery when they were babies. Frankly, my wife appreciated the break and our nursery workers were loving and trained caregivers. But when our kids got old enough to “shut up and sit down” we kept them with us in the church services.

There is a great burden on the parents (maybe especially moms) to practice discipline and to “control” their kids during the service. This is not easy; I get that. But, let’s get rid of our pride and embarrassment and realize that everyone needs to discipline their kids – and to help our children grow up learning the value of participating in church services.

As a pastor, but also as an itinerant speaker, I knew how important it was for our kids to learn the practice of sitting “still” during the services – especially when I was speaking. (“Smirk.”) In fact, as they got older, I would often take one of our kids with me when I traveled to camps, youth events, and conferences. I loved this one-on-one time with my kids. Now our kids are basically all in their forties – and all serve the Lord in church ministries as communicators of God’s Word. They learned the value of church worship services and the life-changing importance of the preaching of God’s Word.

We brought stuff for our kids to “do” during the services. Sometimes that included Cheerios or other simple snacks, but mostly this meant crayons, then pencils or pens and paper so that they could learn the practice of writing on paper. When our kids got older, it was a “rule” in our house that we all had to take notes during the services – even simple sentences or words were fine. It’s really interesting that now that our kids are all adults, they still take notes during the services. It became a habit.

It’s really good for our kids to worship with us – and to worship alongside of other Godly adults. This practice helped me gain an appreciation for inter-generational worship too. I know that different ages have different musical tastes, but there is something powerful about church services when people of all ages worship the Lord together.

I am not advocating that churches do away with Children’s Church for the long haul. More and more, our churches must realize the importance of reaching and ministering to people from broken, hurting, and dysfunctional households and offering a ministry for children, where kids can learn at their own level, and where they can learn the importance of fellowship with peers. It will also be imperative for churches to be intentional about equipping parents and other older adults to “adopt” the growing number of “spiritual orphans” (those kids your church reaches for Christ who have no Godly adults in their lives) who come to your church.

I absolutely agree with how Kirsten Black ended her article. “Parents, it can be done… It’s hard. It’s arduous. It’s tedious. And yes, it’s often distracting. But it can be done, and it’s worth it. Don’t let the absence of the church nursery, and the added inconvenience of meeting during a pandemic, keep you from gathering safely with your church family to worship the Lord. Church services may not look and sound the way they used to, but that’s okay. There’s so much grace. Bring the little children. Raise them up to worship Jesus.”

5 Ways Parents Can Help Their Children to Go On for God

in Going On For God/inter-generational ministry/Mentoring/Ministry/youth ministry by Mel Walker

The books are flying off the presses in seemingly endless numbers; and frankly, I’m sick of hearing the statistics about the young adults who are dropping out of church. (I know, I know – I listed some of these stats in my own books and posts!) But, please keep reading.

I want to read about the kids who stayed in church. I want to hear the stories of Christian kids who grow up to go on for God. I want to hear about the successes of Godly, Christian parents who are proactively working with the church’s youth leaders to develop strong, stable, and mature Christ-followers who as young adults decide to stay engaged in the church.

(One excellent resource on this very topic is, Faith for Exiles: 5 Ways for a New Generation to Follow Jesus in Digital Babylon, by David Kinnaman and Mark Matlock, published by Baker Books in 2019.)

I know many of these young adults who are absolutely committed to Christ and His claims on their lives. Some of them are currently in college, others are in the military or work force, and many of them are currently living productive live as God-honoring adults.

So, what can Christian parents do to help their children to grow up and go on for God? I am convinced that we must look to the Scriptures for the answers! In the pages of the New Testament we are told the stories of some young people who grew up before our eyes (so to speak) in the Biblical narrative and who continued to live for God long into their adult lives. One of those young men was Timothy. We meet him in Acts 16 as a young man growing up in church and we read his story throughout the Epistles, including Paul’s last letter to him in 2 Timothy. There are many things in the Bible that we can learn about Timothy, but for the sake of this quick post let’s talk a look at some of the things his parents (especially his mother, Eunice – see 2 Timothy 1:5) did right.

It is important to note that parenting is never a formula or a recipe. It doesn’t work to frivolously think that a few quick ideas lead to spiritual success with our kids. However, if we look at the sweeping principles that seemed to guide this family, we can take away some very practical advice for raising our own kids for God today.

A Consistent Lifestyle – 2 Timothy 1:5

Probably the most obvious thing that this family did right was Eunice’s and Lois’ consistent or genuine walk with God. The Bible calls theirs an “unfeigned” (KJV) or un-faked faith! Timothy’s mom and grandmother demonstrated a genuine relationship with God – and it impacted Timothy. Notice in verse 5 that Timothy also demonstrated a genuine faith. He grew up and went on for God – and that’s what we want from our kids, too.

Communication of God’s Word – 2 Timothy 3:15

The second thing this family did right was that they made it a priority to communicate Biblical truth. Notice that from his earliest days, Timothy learned the Scriptures. The next two verses (2 Timothy 3:16 & 17) reveal that this strategy was much more than a rote memorization of the Text. He also learned that Biblical principles are “profitable” for life and that these principles lead to true spiritual maturity.

Collaboration with the Church

There is another key element to their strategy that is worth identifying and that is their cooperation with the church to help develop Timothy’s faith. Acts 16 identifies him as a “disciple”, who as a young man already had a good testimony with the other believers. He also was personally selected by the Apostle Paul to go along on this missionary journey. The text expounds on the purpose of their ministry, “So the churches were strengthened in the faith and grew daily in numbers. (NIV)” Obviously, the church was a priority to young Timothy. He grew up in church and committed himself to a church-based ministry.

Concern for People and Culture

The Acts 16 passage also presents an interesting scenario of Timothy’s circumcision even though his was a Greek (see verse 1). He perhaps was willing to submit to this cultural ritual due to the cross-cultural background in his own family. This somewhat dysfunctional family environment undoubtedly produced a heart-felt concern for other people and a genuine sensitivity for others.

Commitment to Ministry

The final positive thing I’d like to identify from this family was their dedication to God’s work. They were willing to allow their son to follow Paul along on this journey. Without any visible hesitation on anyone’s part Timothy joined the missionary team and set off on what was the beginning of his call to vocational ministry.

Timothy was a young man who grew up and went on for God. The narrative of Scripture points out some identifiable things that helped in this process. Perhaps there is practical wisdom here for today’s Christian families to implement into the fabric of raising their own kids.

NOW WHAT? Practical Thoughts for Aging Youth Workers

in Going On For God/inter-generational ministry/Mentoring/Older adults/Parents/youth ministry by Mel Walker

I am a 66-year-old-youth pastor. My hair and beard have been gray for several decades now – and I can’t play the guitar. I don’t have a TikTok account and I’ve never played Fortnite. I’m too old to play tackle football with kids (or with anyone for that matter), and I hate staying up all night. I am enrolled in Medicare and I have my AARP membership card.

However, I can say emphatically that I love kids – and can’t see myself doing anything else except working with emerging generations in a local church setting – for absolutely as long as I can.

I know that I am way too old to play tackle football, but we should never get too old to minister to kids.

Believe me, I get it. My games in youth group can be lame, and my illustrations are sometimes old. I’m not the guy to lead worship for today’s teenagers, and I am certainly not the person to lead all-nighters.

But, since most of the kids in our church are from dysfunctional, hurting, and broken households, they look at me almost as a grandpa. My wife and I minister to kids who may not have positive relationships with their parents, but they love their grandparents and respect them. Their grandparents are the ones who provide for them, who take care of them, and who encourage them.

So, maybe working with today’s younger generations (like Gen Z and Generation Alpha) makes sense for older youth workers. Maybe it’s time for older youth workers to refocus our ministries, renew our sense of calling, and allow kids (middle schoolers, high schoolers, and even young adults) to reinvigorate our ministries with today’s young people.

Older youth workers can have amazingly effective ministries. Here are some things to think through:

Reaffirm your call as you get older.

Has God called you to work with youth? If so, keep on doing it no matter how old you are. I don’t think the call of God is age related.

Stay relevant. Do your research. Stay connected.

How can you stay up on today’s students? Maybe older people are inherently out-of-touch, and we’ll have to work harder to learn all we can about today’s youth and youth culture. The best way to learn about kids, by the way, is to spend time with kids!

Concentrate on your strengths. You’re not good at everything. Use what God is blessing.

Older youth workers probably are not the best game leaders, and most likely shouldn’t be worship leaders at this stage of life. But they are really good at building inter-personal relationships and they are probably ideal storytellers of what God has done over the years in their lives. And, they probably know the Scriptures and can successfully teach God’s Word to others.

Recruit others to help you (and find people to do what is now hard for you to do). Build a team around you.

Yeah, since we’re not all good at everything – why not make a conscious effort to recruit other Godly adults in your church to work alongside of you. Teams built with diversity are probably best suited to connect with the variety of kids in your group.

Make much of relationships… with individual kids, with parents, and with others in the church.

Older youth workers should be really good at developing healthy and positive relationships with individual kids. (Of course, churches will need to develop and enforce child protection policies for all adult workers!) Older youth workers also have the credibility to work with parents of teens too. Plus, they are likely to have the respect of other people in the church as well.

Friends, I can’t tell you how thankful I am to still have the opportunity to work kids and their families at this stage of my life. Our youth group doesn’t play crazy games and we don’t entertain kids with the energetic music or creative videos that I have produced, but we love the Lord and we love kids – and we want to see our students grow up to go on for God.

How Youth Ministry Can Impact “Big Church”

in Blog/Going On For God/inter-generational ministry/youth ministry by Mel Walker

The apostle Paul had it right when he challenged his student, Timothy, to “Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).

The context of this verse gives clear indication that this great missionary leader was encouraging young Timothy to make sure that his private life substantiated his public message. In other words, he was telling us that young people can and should be examples to older people. From reading this passage, one can conclude that others in the Ephesus church were older (maybe significantly so) than Timothy. Yet, he was instructed to be an example to them. This same principle can be a clear mandate for teenagers today.

Our students can have a church-wide impact. I’ve seen it happen and probably so have you. Students come back from a conference, camp, or missions trip fired up to do something great for God. The Lord has been at work in their hearts, and they come home totally on fire and completely dedicated to the cause of Christ. The adults hear their testimonies and sense their passion to do something great for God. This genuine enthusiasm is contagious and infectious to people of all generations.

I’ve seen this phenomenon lead to a spirit of true revival that has effectively spread throughout the entire church. Let me tell you quickly about one such occasion in a church I know. It started when the Lord used one of the volunteer youth workers to lead a teenage girl to Christ. This 16-year-old new believer then led her best friend to Christ. These two baby Christians quickly became motivated to start a Bible study to reach other friends for Christ in their local public school. Almost at the same time, some of our regular attendees had recently returned from a major youth conference and were eager to see God continue to use that event to change lives back home. One young man prayed accept Christ and another made a public decision to be more vocal about his faith. On one particular Sunday almost twenty teenagers made public decisions to commit their lives to Christ. Soon several of their parents followed them, and other adults soon followed. Without any exaggeration, this sense of revival very quickly spread throughout the entire church. God used two new Christians and a handful of other students returning from a youth conference to impact that whole church body.

I don’t want to presume that I can identify here in this short article all of the factors that the Lord can use to bring this kind of church-wide revival, but I do believe Paul’s instruction to young Timothy that he could be an example to other believers. I find it interesting that 2 Timothy 4:12 identifies some specific areas in which young people can be an example to older Christians. (“…in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”) Students can indeed impact others through their words, their manner of life, their love, their enthusiasm, their dedication to God, and through their moral purity.

The key is that the youth ministry should have personal, public, and positive exposure to other ages within the church. Let me explain.

1. Make sure that your students have personal exposure to other age groups in your church.

Students need to get to know the adults, and the adults need to get to know the students. It’s that simple. We must build significant interpersonal and inter-generational relationships in our churches. I believe that this process starts when godly adults are willing to take the initiative to develop these nurturing and mutually beneficial relationships with kids. Don’t expect most kids to go out of their way to get to know adults. That’s probably not going to happen. (Just make sure that your church’s child protection policies are known and enforced.)

The adults in your church will probably need to be taught to be proactive and seek out individual students to mentor. It’s a well-reported fact that over 90% of today’s teenagers are interested in positive and growing relationships with adults. But, remember that the obligation is on the adults to make these relationships happen.

This exposure can happen in several very effective ways. I am a firm believer in making sure your students are welcome to actively participate in all areas of your church ministry. Also, youth workers need to plan creative and well-organized events for the adults and teenagers to interact together. You will undoubtedly find that you need to motivate both adults and teenagers to be involved; but once you hold these positive events on a regular basis, the existing walls of aloofness and intimidation will break down.

I also believe that one of the most important and effective ways to nurture these inter-generational relationships is for the groups to spend significant time in prayer together for specific and strategic needs. Acts 12:1–17 sets a Biblical precedent of various generations who prayed together. Praying together shows other people your heart, your burden for the lost, and your desire to see God work.

Don’t forget that this process works both ways. The adults in your church will impact students as they demonstrate their vitality and genuineness in prayer, but the teens will also reveal those same qualities to the adults. It is powerful for teens to hear adults pray, but it is also beneficial for adults when they hear kids pray.

I encourage all youth workers to brainstorm and then implement other ways to help the different generations in your church develop intentional and growing interpersonal relationships between members of the various generations.

2. Give your students public exposure to other age groups in your church.

It is also important to give students public exposure to your church. I admit that I am a long-time fan of “youth services” and other ways for the teens to interact with other generations in a public way. The first time I ever preached was during a youth night service where the teenagers took over our church’s entire evening service. But please recognize that I do not believe that these periodic services should be the only way for teenagers to get involved in your church. If these youth services are the only public exposure the students have, it can lead to the feeling that the teenagers are actually “on show” every so often and not really a vital part of the church.

Why not let your teenagers take an active role in the regular ministries of your church? I think that some talented teenagers chould participate in the worship team during regularly scheduled church services for example. I like to encourage and train other teenagers to serve as ushers or greeters. I also think students should be encouraged and taught to tithe and to participate in church business meetings. After all, this is their church too. They should be involved.

Young people should also be given the opportunity to serve with adults in your church’s kid’s ministry, or other key areas of service. The key here is the part about serving alongside of adults. This team ministry can be an amazingly effective way of training future leaders and servants for ongoing church involvement. When adults and teenagers work alongside each other, they see each other’s heart for God and for other people. This, too, will break down the walls of suspicion and negativity between the generations. This principle should work both ways. Make sure your students have exposure to adults as well.

3. Give godly students positive exposure to other age groups.

Another thought that I want to emphasize concerning exposing teenagers to the other generations in church is that the exposure should be positive exposure. You want the adults to see kids who love the Lord and are passionate about serving Him. It is contagious to see godly kids who are genuinely enthusiastic about the Lord. That cannot be ignored! Therefore, make sure you give this exposure to students who are not fleshly or carnal. I am not saying that external things are the most important characteristic. Please do not hold your teenagers to higher external standards than you require of the adults who serve. But I am saying that the students who participate in other organized church ministries should be living for the Lord. (I also believe that this standard should be expected of adults, by the way.)

God’s Word is very clear on this idea, “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much” (Luke 16:10). However, unless there are habits of unconfessed, public sin, all Christians should be actively involved in church ministry (Ephesians 4:11–16.)

What a powerful visual aid to see students who love the Lord and want to serve Him! Adults can’t resist the excitement and eagerness from teenagers who are truly motivated about living for the Lord. In fact, when adults see the passion and enthusiasm of teenagers who really want to live for God, the external things will become almost non-issues.

I also want to emphasize that the ministry experience should be positive. In other words, you want students to enjoy serving the Lord and to do so without being coerced or made to feel guilty for not serving. Ministry should be fun and exciting. It is a blast to serve the Lord. Yes, it is difficult at times, but look at all the Lord did for us. We should want to serve Him and live for Him because of our desire to be obedient to Him. That’s what we want from our students as well.

Yes, I believe that Paul had it right. Students can be an example to “big church”!

Mel’s Manifesto: The Day I Experienced “Holy Ground” – and Why I Do What I Do

in Going On For God/inter-generational ministry/youth ministry by Mel Walker

It was a summer day following my sophomore year in college, and I was sitting up in my hospital bed after waking up from surgery from an athletic injury. I admit that I was feeling sorry for myself that day. I was in a “poor Mel” and “my life is terrible” mood. My right arm was bandaged to my chest because of my shoulder surgery and my left hand was also bandaged due to the intravenous fluids’ hookup after the surgery.

On the hospital tray in front of me was a plastic cup filled with ice chips – and my open Bible. It’s a long story that I won’t go in to here, but my Bible was turned to Hebrews 12, and here’s what I read, “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens…”

That day, sitting alone in a hospital room, God used His Word to literally change the complete direction of my life. I had been living completely for myself, only prioritizing my own goals and plans. Even though I had put my faith in Christ as a child, my life up until that moment was quite focused on me and what I wanted out of life.

God spoke to me that day! No, not in an audible voice – but, His Words were loud and clear. God loved me enough to have something better in store for me than a life for myself. I was discouraged because I didn’t see God’s hand in this. That day it all changed. God loved me enough to work in my life. This surgery was not what I wanted, but it became the catalyst for real change in where I was headed.

I began to sob, not because I was “discouraged” by my life’s circumstances, but because I saw that God loved me enough to “chasten” me and that He had something better for me. That day I confessed my selfishness and admitted to Him that I had been wasting my life. That hospital room became “holy ground” for me as I dedicated my life to Christ and committed myself to follow His will.

Friends, I get it that my life’s story is no big deal when it is compared to the stories of many others, but it is what happened, and this was what God used to help me commit my life to Him and to do His will. My decision that day was to quit wasting my life and to use the rest of my life to make a difference for eternity instead of living focused on myself. And, I’ve tried to do that ever since.

It’s Thanksgiving season, and I can’t begin to express my thankfulness for my wife and family – and for the many years of satisfying and meaningful ministry that He has given us. Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs along the way. Everyone does. But we’ve lived our life trying to see God’s hand in what He wants us to be and to do.

As we’ve sought to do God’s will, we realized that God had wanted to use me to impact the next generation – and to do whatever I could do to utilize my gifts and abilities for that purpose. That’s why I’ve spent the last 45 years of my life actively involved in various aspects of ministry to students – and that’s why I began to focus my writing and speaking ministry to help motivate and encourage as many young people as possible in their walk with God. My ministry has been one of challenging them from the Scriptures not to waste their lives, but instead trying to help them to commit to doing the will of God.

In my personal bio on Twitter, I wrote that I am an “observer of cultural trends”. I have a compelling desire to be someone that makes the biggest difference that I can for eternity. I can’t do everything, but I want to do what I can to impact lives of the next generation. So, I became a youth pastor, a college instructor and administrator, a leader of a youth ministry organization, and a writer and speaker to do just that. My motive has been to observe where cultural influences are headed and to use my God-given gifts to do whatever I can to impact the lives of young people through those trends for eternity.

That is exactly why I’ve written my books, Inter-Generational Youth Ministry and Going On For God. I noticed cultural trends and wanted to do what I could to help people with those things. I wrote books on mentoring and discipleship because I wanted to help others also impact the next generation; and my kids and I put together a booklet on helping young people make Biblical decisions for the same reason.

That summer day in the hospital room was indeed a “holy ground” experience for me. Every now and then I drive by that hospital and tear up a little bit again because God used that place to change everything about Mel Walker’s life. I know this story is no big deal, but now you know why I do what I do. Thanks for reading.

Is It Their Church? 5 Things to Help Teenagers Build Loyalty to the Church

in Going On For God/inter-generational ministry/Ministry/youth ministry by Mel Walker

Fellow youth workers and church leaders, I would like to ask you a serious question – and, please make an honest evaluation of your ministry.

Are your teenagers more loyal to your youth ministry than they are to the church as a whole?

If they are, it’s no wonder so many teenagers quit participating in church following their days in youth group. Let’s remember that youth ministry was never designed as a terminal program – with a specific ending point for the students to be finished and then walk away.

Here are 5 things that any church can do to help build loyalty to the church as a whole:

Teach them the importance of God’s church. Loyalty begins with an understanding of what church is all about. Develop a series of lessons on the church. Perhaps you could take them through Acts, the Epistles, and even the 7 churches in Revelation to give them exposure to what the Bible says about the church. Talk to them about basic ecclesiology and your church polity. There are lots of materials out there to help you with this, but if you feel uncomfortable doing this series yourself, I’m sure your lead pastor could offer some suggestions or resource material to help you.

Provide opportunities for them to serve in the church. Loyalty also comes through what some would call “sweat equity”. Give your students practical opportunities to get involved in your church’s ministries and programs – and give them practical ways to use their God-given spiritual gifts. Provide ways for them to serve alongside adults and motivate them to get involved in work projects around the church. People are much more likely to continue in church if they have been actively involved themselves.

Motivate them to give financially to the church. I encourage all youth workers to teach their students to give financially to the church. The majority of today’s teens have their own money. Their parents must be involved, of course, but teach them the discipline of giving financially to the Lord and to His church. It’s hard to walk away from something after giving financially to it.

Expose them to church business and key church leaders. I also believe it is a wise move to give teenagers some basic instruction on how their church works. Why do you have communion? Why do you baptize people? What is the purpose of church business meetings? These are vital questions and your kids should know the answers. It is also a good idea to give your students some exposure to the key leaders in your church – and that starts with the lead pastor / senior pastor. Don’t forget he’s their pastor, too. I encourage youth workers to invite deacons and other church leaders to share their story or testimony to students. Maybe our kids are leaving the church because they really don’t understand it.
Help them develop positive inter-generational relationships in the church. Chap Clark has said that if we want our kids to stay in the church after they graduate from high school, they will need personal relationships with 5 significant adults other than their parents. How are you doing with that? These adults need to be people above-and-beyond our teams of youth workers. They could be adult mentors, prayer-partners, Godly parents of other teens, work project leaders, or senior citizens who are genuinely interested in the next generation. I really believe that we are doing our students a disservice if we totally separate them from other generations in the church. We must think this through if we want our youth to go on for God as adults.s

These 5 things are just recommendations, but I think they are very practical and workable in a church situation – and I think these strategy suggestions will help build loyalty to the entire church instead of just the youth program.

May the Lord bless you as you seek to implement these concepts into the fabric of your church!